Finally...

I'm not a heartless bitch.

(Well, not to my friends, at least.)

Two days ago I realised that I won't be going to school with my favourite friends any longer (no shit, Giang). It quite upsetting because the whole gravity of the situation had just come down on me: I won't be able to spaz to Katrina and George about cool things, Jo won't hold my arm, Tricia don't be a bitch, I won't discuss fics and sex with Ann and Anna, I won't be bullied by Dieu, Huyen Do and Emily's perpetual entertainment, I won't witness Marivic's and Krystal's inevitable stupidity, Yolanda, Tricia, ,and Anna, won't play the piano for me, won't be able to make fun of the way Yolanda and Jessie eat their jelly, we won't share food, or have awesome bludge viet lessons, or ridiculously bittersweet sose lessons.

I cried. See, not a heartless bitch.

On the last day of school, so many people were crying. Even the people that I wern't very close to. Despite the fact that that day I felt so absolutely loved and everyone was bawling, I was thinking 'hey, it's not too bad. It's just the holidays; I'll be back next year'. But I won't be back next year. I'll be off at another school where I'll have to actually put effort into my studies.

I rarely have contact with Katrina over the internet and whenever I have something cool to tell her about I always tell her as soon as we're at school. How will we do that now? I mean, I love all my friends, but Katrina and I talk most about most things. It's not that she's above everyone else, it's just that it's Katrina. Who else is going to understand what I say and listen to me go insane about something cool? She almost brought me to tears when she cried on the last day of school, even if I wasn't sure why she was crying and why it had hit me so hard. I didn't think me leaving would be that hard for her. She would always hit me and then say 'why are you leaving me, you bitch? Who am I going to have to talk to?'. I always thought, 'dude, you've got everyone else', but now I'm thinking who am I going to talk to?

It's inevitable that I'm going to make new friends next year, and even though I want to make really, really good (male) friends, I don't want them to replace everyone at olsh. I don't want them to feel that they've been replaced either.

And what about teachers? Mr. Fletcher, Mrs. Alexander and Mr. Barker will be sorely missed.

Next year I'll find photos of everyone on facebook of them at retreat, excursions and any other times they decide to photograph their insanity. When I see them they're going to talk heaps about things that I don't know about and it'll be weird (sorry, Dianna. You probably feel that way too). When that happens, I'll feel really dampened and morose.

Sigh.. I'm really excited for next year, but I will definitely miss those insane bitches like crazy (Dianna, I miss you, too).

What can I say? I'm besotted with those fools, and there's nothing you can do about it.

P.S.: Yolanda and Jessie give the warmest hugs, even if they do strangle me sometimes.

Feel free to not read this.

Dianna, this is raw, unabridged, quick and short.

I’m always there for you. You confide in me and use me as your mental and literal punching bag. I help you see things in a different light. I make you feel special. I support you and your twisted crushes. I’m there for you in spirit when you’re at school. You whine to me about your insecurities. You cry to me about your schooling woes. You snap hideous photos of me. You make me cry with all your sweet fluffiness. You’re too rough with my guitar. You are the worst arm holder. Your parents are kinky, freaky bitches. You have such low self-esteem. You are insane, inane and inglorious. You make me write stupid corny things about you. You make me exasperated and talk to you like a five year-old. You’re making me bore any other person that may be reading this. And you’re just so Dianna-ish that this list will never end.

I like doing these things for you. It makes me feel all high and mighty. But there’s one thing that you do for me that would not make me myself otherwise.

You make me fun.

Imagine me without you, lol. I’d be the most emo bitch anyone has ever crossed.

(Barf! at the fluffiness of this all!)